Dear Supportive Surrogate: Why should I have a doula?
Dear Supportive Surrogate,
Why should I have a doula when I didn’t have one for my own kids? Do the IPs need a separate one? I’m feeling pretty confused. -Confused
Dear Confused,
Doulas are an amazing addition to your birth team. I am so excited you are looking into your options. There is never a wrong answer when it comes to feeling supported during birth. There are many women who have given birth without a doula who later decided to add one to their team for their next birth! I did that myself. What was the difference between my birth without a doula and with, you ask? I had someone there 100% focused on my needs who GOT IT! My husband was amazing, but he wasn’t a childbirth expert! The doctors and nurses? Absolutely worth their weight in gold, but they have a number of patients to attend to. My Doula? There for me during every single step of the way! She was able to offer the physical and emotional support I needed to feel safe in my birthing space. Oh, and even better, she was able to offer support to my intended parents as well, and that worked well for us. But an indented parent could absolutely have their own doula if they desired it. A birth doula will focus primarily on the birthing person and help to support others as she is able. Often surrogacy-specialized doulas, such as Texas Birth and Babies, will split their time after the birth. That’s about an hour with the surrogate making sure she gets settled into her postpartum room and gets to EAT! During that time, the intended parents are able to enjoy their golden hour of skin-to-skin with their baby. After which, the doula is able to offer the intended parents any support they need with feeding baby and newborn procedures. Have a chat with your intended parents and together, build the roadmap to ensuring everyone has the best birth experience possible.
Warmly,
Supportive Surrogate